It’s hard to feel sexy when you’ve got a five year old attached to your leg, but keeping the spice in your relationship is important to keeping your marriage healthy and strong.
We all love our kids, but it’s important to draw boundaries between family time and Mommy-Daddy-Alone-Time. If you’ve got a baby at home, spend some extra money every week on a babysitter (or con Grandma into doing it!) and go out for a real date, complete with flirting, sexual banter, and adult conversation.
Time is an issue when you’re balancing carpool and soccer matches, and sex ends up being low man on the totem pole. It’s also hard to get in the mood at night when you’re so exhausted you can barely move, let alone seduce.
A good tip is to set the alarm for half an hour earlier in the mornings and enjoy some private time before the kids wake up. Morning sex will put a smile on your face for the rest of the day, as well as remind you that you’re parents and adults in a loving, committed relationship.
Another time saving ‘fun time’ technique is showering or bathing together, assuming your children are old enough that they don’t need constant supervision. It not only gives you some kid-free sexy time, but saves water! There are a number of waterproof sex toys you can find to make your bath time a lot more exciting than a rubber ducky.
Don’t be ashamed if you’re too tired to do everything by the basics. Invest in some non-waterproof sex toys to keep things fun and prop you up when you’re not at the top of your game. There’s no shame in admitting you need help, and as long as the end result is a healthy, satisfying sex life, there’s no wrong answer. Just remember to keep them safely locked up, out of reach of tiny, curious hands!
So you’ve got morning sex, bath time, and exhaustion compensation covered – what else do you need to know? That you shouldn’t feel bad if you don’t feel like having sex every single night, so long as your marriage is still vital and alive. Tease each other. Flirt extravagantly. Create codes so you can talk in front of your kids without them knowing what you’re talking about. If you’re in the middle of a dry spell, book the babysitter and go rent a motel room. Bring a bag of your favorite mood enhancers and reconnect by any means necessary.
That’s essentially what it boils down to – the determination to keep things hot, and the dedication to making it happen. Only you know what your marriage really needs, but the bottom line is that you not ignore the man and the woman who met and fell in love before they became parents.
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