It’s said that every man, at least once in his sexually active life, will have a sexual encounter where he comes too quickly. However, for some men, it’s much more often and can be particularly damaging to his (and her) self-esteem in addition to a crippled sex life.

Premature ejaculation is a common problem for many couples, but the solution is remarkably simple. You must learn self-control. Sounds difficult right off the bat, right? Well, it just takes some practice and patience, from both you and your lover.

Many men will begin this by attempting to distract themselves during sex. However, this only makes the problem worse. If you’re thinking of something other than the task at hand, then you aren’t tuned into your body and won’t recognize the “I’m going to come” signs that are present. So, pay attention to what you’re doing.

As with any sexual issue, it’s best to start alone, as in, masturbate. Start without any lubrication, a dry hand. Begin stroking as you like, but once you start to notice those signals that you’re close to your “point of no return”, back off a little bit. Stroke slowly and lightly, or stop altogether, keeping your erection by touching yourself elsewhere or fantasizing. Don’t let your penis become soft. After you feel more relaxed, begin again. Repeat this process as often as you can.

The next step is to continue masturbating, this time using lubricants. Use the same method as you did with dry masturbation. Once you mastered this, try mutual masturbation, having your partner stroke your penis. Be sure to incorporate a signal to your lover, such as a pinch to let him/her know when it’s time to stop and start. Tell your partner what to do when you need him/her to back off a bit, such as gentle kissing or massaging anywhere but the genitals, or lightly touching your balls and penis.

Once mutual masturbation goes well, try oral sex. First do this while you lie still, leaving everything to your partner. When you’ve accomplished this, move on to allowing yourself to gyrate your hips and move while your partner goes down on you.

Before you know it, you’ll last longer and longer and feel more confident in bed.

Some additional tips to keep you harder, longer, are to avoid drugs and alcohol, Also, the missionary position is the worst of all sexual positions for premature ejaculation. Have your partner get on top and drive, as this will help you last longer.

Some men want to be able to last longer while they learn to control their bodies. One way to accomplish this is by temporarily using desensitizing topical creams to help you last longer. A condom works as well in this department. While it’s best to learn how to listen to your body and change your methods accordingly, if you’re concerned about pleasing your partner in the bedroom in the meantime, a good cream or rubber couldn’t hurt.

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