In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

After he rested for awhile, God created us.

And in turn, we discovered that sex was fun, and could be made even more fun with a few helpful aids.

Somewhere in there, however, things got muddled. It wasn’t God’s fault, either – it was ours, men and women who decided being ashamed was better than celebrating the incredible gift of God’s design. Why would such a benevolent deity create our bodies capable of such incredible pleasure if he did not intend for us to revel in it?

Of course, some of you may not believe in God – and if so, you shouldn’t have a problem with sex, or the tools sometimes necessary to make it great. If you do, it’s possible that you’ve been influenced by society, religion, or both, and now feel embarrassed by something that is as natural as breathing and a lot more fun.

At the center of the human experience is sex. This cannot be denied – it is the act that creates life, deepens intimacy, and makes people feel alive. It is a celebration, a comfort, an affirmation, a thrill, and a benediction – when it is truly special, it is all these things at once. Why, then, is it regarded as something less savory, something we should shield from the eyes of our children?

On American television, the ratings system allows the violent side of passion – murder, death, graphic images of human suffering – to be shown in great detail. But the pleasurable end of passion, the sensual side, is a huge gray area: sex must be hidden in shadows, beneath soft sheets, with mood lightning obscuring any hint of nipple or the area too high on the thigh.

What is this obsession with modesty, and where did it originate?

The beginning of recorded human history shows we did not know shame until we were made to feel it. Shame is not hardwired into our DNA the way happiness, anger, pleasure, or pain is – it’s a learned behavior to feel ashamed of ones body, to take shame in the act of love and pleasure.

Before organized religion became commonplace, people were not without God, or spirituality – on the contrary. All people were inherently spiritual, because it made sense to celebrate Gods who shared our human emotions and foibles, beings who were sensual, wrathful, hedonistic, wrongheaded, benevolent, kind, and playful. These Gods reveled in their sexuality, and in turn, people reveled in their own, because they were never taught not to.

Organized religion provided a pulpit for the pious, a group of men who felt they knew what was best for everyone else, so they wrote a book and made up some rules and instilled a sense of shame into everyone else. Sometimes this shame was instilled through violent means, or threat of lost home, family, and property; sometimes it was instilled with subtle precision, working its way beneath the skin with a reproachful look and a few seemingly careless words.

In society over the last hundred years, that shame has manifested itself hundreds of times – and been rebelled against just as frequently – but no example is quite as on the nose for this debate as the reaction people have to sex toys.

Even reading it just now, you were probably a little uncomfortable; perhaps you squirmed in your seat. Adult toys – anything from vibrators, to handcuffs, to whips and dildos – have been the butt of many a joke for decades, but unless they’re being made fun of, mentioning them in polite company is strictly forbidden. We’ve come to accept more frank talk about sex. You can watch daytime television and see intelligent, substantive conversations about marital sex, pre-marital sex, gay sex, teenage sex, old age sex, menopausal sex, medically enhanced sex – you get the picture.

However, what isn’t mentioned is that sex toys can have the power to save your sex life, no matter what age you are. And before you get grossed out picturing Grandma and Grandpa using things that run on batteries, remember – they’ve lived a long time and can’t get around as well as they used to: they can probably use all the help they can get!

If teenagers, hormones running wild, unsure how, when, where, and what’s happening to their bodies, were given access to a vibrator, or something like that, perhaps the teenage pregnancy statistics would go down significantly, because half the allure of the “first time” is that you have no idea what your body is going through, and it’s mysterious and exciting.

Sex is one of the top three things married people fight about, and while a nice pair of handcuffs or a We-Vibe won’t help with money and children, it could probably make dissatisfaction in the bedroom shrink a great deal, which in turn might improve the temperament of both spouses to discuss other issues. The divorce rate would decline and we, as a people, could devote more time to enjoying life.

After all, throughout human history we’ve made a point of making tools to better aid us. As a people, we’ve invented fire, the wheel, hammers, sliced bread, automobiles, airplanes, electricity, and antidepressants – are dildos really that big of a deal?

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