You may not even realize how many mistakes you’re making with your sex life every single day. If you’re like most of the people out there, some of the things you’re about to learn may surprise you. It’s easy to get into the habit of thinking you’re doing things right, but while setting a date every week for sex is better than not having sex at all, unfortunately, it’s still not enough to keep things hot.
Don’t let your relationship feel platonic.
Stop holding her hand so much. That may sound crazy, but after awhile, holding hands in public can start to feel almost asexual. After all, you’d hold your mother’s hand in public – you used to all the time. Chances are, she probably did, too. PDA is absolutely welcome, but the way you go about it makes all the difference in the bedroom later. Try caressing the back of your partner’s neck with your palm, or playing with the edges of their clothes. Touch your partner like the lover they are, and make no mistake about what your touch implies.
This is not a 3-minute mile.
Sex is one of the few areas where speed isn’t actually a plus. It’s a cliché at this point to say that women enjoy foreplay, but it’s not something you should so easily roll your eyes at. Taking the extra time to kiss, to caress, to do other things that don’t involve ejaculating and falling asleep, can be incredibly rewarding. If you aren’t taking advantage of the opportunity to kiss the back of her neck, or explore her breasts with your mouth, or map the skin on her inner thighs with gentle fingertips, you’re definitely making a huge mistake.
Climb out of that rut.
If you usually have sex in the same place, around the same time – don’t. Don’t stop having sex, of course, but you’ve got to mix it up. Variety is the spice of life and why should your sex life be anything short of spicy? If you usually find time in the privacy of your own bedroom, have fun on the kitchen table. If you normally meet up at night in the shower, have morning sex in bed. Or add a few sex toys to an old location – nothing gets you out of a rut quite as fast as a dildo. The only thing boring about the place you have sex is whether it’s become stagnant.
Get physical together. Before sex.
Exercise stimulates the same endorphins sex does. So it stands to reason that a good workout might count as foreplay in some cases. Watching each other get hot, sweaty, and bothered also creates a mental image of other ways you can get hot, sweaty, and bothered. Besides, the more you exercise, the more stamina you’ll have for other, more pleasurable pursuits.
Conan O’Brien is Not Foreplay.
Don’t watch TV before you have sex – mostly because this often leads to leaving the TV on during sex. No one wants to be paying more attention to a monologue than they are their lover’s touch. If you want to relax and enjoy some entertainment together before things get interesting, try to read aloud to each other. It doesn’t have to be pornography to feel intimate and help you both feel closer to each other. Putting down a book also makes sure your attention is on each other and not the television.
Give a little.
While wearing nothing but a smile is far from unappealing, remember that both you and your partner are going to respond well to new stimuli. A sexy outfit, a new toy, anything that shakes up your routine a little. And remember, once you’ve worn a leopard skin loincloth for her, she’ll be willing to do almost anything you want to reciprocate.
Rinse and Repeat.
A lot of these tips can function well when combined together. Use your imagination. Play games with each other. Inject sex toys into your foreplay and sexual touches into your afterglow. Tie each other up, make strict rules you have to abide by for one night only and, above all, don’t be afraid to make a mistake while you try to avoid making mistakes – the most interesting things can happen that way.
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