With deployments ranging from 6-18 months, many military couples find themselves as intimate strangers both during and after their lengthy separation. Distance from each other, the despair of being apart, and the stress of existing in a wartime situation can and does affect relationships in negative ways, including what happens in the bedroom.

Here are some tips to help you keep things spicy between you and your soldier during times of deployment.

“Ayo Technology”

While many military couples are unable to talk on a daily basis, e-mails and instant messages are all the rage. However, it can go further than a simple “I miss you” or “Jimmy got an A on his test today!” Share your fantasies with each other. Tell him how you imagined him returning home from deployment and throwing you on the bed, and then… Well, use your imagination, of course, just make sure you let him know you’re sending a racy e-mail. Put a special code phrase in the subject line in case someone’s looking over his shoulder.

If your sweetie has his own Internet connection in his room, try web cams. Those can be a lot of fun, even if all you do is flash him or do a seductive striptease. This will keep things hot and spicy in your relationship, even from a distance, and also help him cope with being in a wartime situation.
Phone Sex

Hearing your spouse’s voice is a wonderful feeling when you’ve been separated for so long. Add to it a little bit by having a little phone sex. Tell him what you want to do to him, and have him tell you what he wants to do to you when he returns home. Incorporate a little masturbation into it as well. Pleasure yourself while you talk dirty to each other. Who knows – perhaps you’ll both orgasm from a distance in addition to stoking the fires of passion and love between you during this difficult time.

Masturbation

For many, sex is as necessary as an afternoon meal. If you and your deployed lover frequently hopped into bed on a daily or weekly basis, not having that experience in addition to the separation could make the deployment even more difficult for you both. Self pleasuring and orgasms can be a great way to decrease anxiety and stress, in addition to just feeling great. Don’t be afraid to pleasure yourself on those lonely evenings. If necessary, purchase a few sex toys, like vibrators or dildos. Think about your lover and fantasize while you pleasure yourself, and don’t forget to let him know about it the next time you e-mail him.

Preparing for Reunion Sex

Many couples, while they’re happy to be back together again after a long deployment, have a great deal of anxiety about being a day-to-day couple again. Maintaining a long distance relationship, over long periods of time, takes its toll, and how things go in the bedroom is no exception. So how should military couples handle this transition?

If you managed to keep things spicy during deployment, this transition will go much more smoothly for you and your lover. However, there are a few other tips to make your reunion exciting and special, hopefully without the anxiety.

A Second Honeymoon

Think of a wedding night, and you’ll have the right idea. Light some candles, turn on some soft, sexy music, and wear some new sexy lingerie you bought just for the occasion. Have a friend go to your home and set the mood a few minutes before you arrive. Rose petals on the bed, a bottle of champagne on the nightstand, and whatever else you may desire to set the mood will be waiting for you and your lover when you arrive.

What about the in-laws?

While some of you may have an intimate, couple’s reunion, others will be bombarded with relatives in the house. After all, you weren’t the only one to miss your soldier. If this is the case, plan a retreat his first night home and spend the night at a hotel. Until then, steal a kiss or a quick squeeze of the bum to let him know you simply can’t wait.

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