Foreplay. It’s a word that can strike fear in the hearts of men and women alike. What, exactly, does foreplay entail? How long is it supposed to last? Am I doing it wrong? If it’s just prelude to the main event, why not skip it entirely?

Well, because getting there is half the fun. Would you skip the National Anthem at a baseball game? Staring at your presents under the Christmas tree before it’s time to open them? The tempting appetizer before your favorite meal? Anticipation breeds a heightened state of excitement, which in turn leads for a more satisfying sexual encounter.

Be honest. Lying to your partner does nothing to enhance your intimate time together, and if you don’t like it when she touches you there, or wish he wouldn’t do that thing with his tongue, you have to bite the bullet and lay it out there. On the flip side, be honest about what you do like, and don’t be embarrassed. Your partner should want you to have as fun and fulfilling a sexual experience as possible and will usually go to any length necessary to see it through.

1) Talk it out. Talking dirty isn’t just for phone sex operators. You and your partner can and should share wild fantasies, or simply whisper over dinner what you’re going to do to each other later, when you’re alone.

2) Play games. Erotic dice or cards can be a fun way to get your motors revving and they provide a clear set of rules. No wondering if you’re doing something right when you’re literally just doing what the instructions tell you to.

3) Laugh. It seems like a big no-no, but you’ll enjoy yourself more if you can laugh before, during, and after. Keep in mind not to laugh at anyone, though.

4) Soak in oil. A nice, sensuous massage is a great excuse to touch each other everywhere, and anywhere can become an erogenous zone with the right amount of slickness and pressure. Flavored lotions and body butters can make the experience twice as nice.

5) Sex Toys. Vibrators, whips, handcuffs, rings, costumes – anything that engages your imagination or makes you look twice is probably worth considering and will make an enjoyable addition to your sex life. Tie her up and think of creative ways to make her beg. Dress up as her favorite pirate fantasy.

Remember, if you’re comfortable your partner will sense that as easily as they would your nerves, and confidence can play as big a part in good foreplay as technical prowess. As long as you’re committed to each others’ mutual pleasure and willing to be open, there’s no such thing as the wrong way to get in the mood.

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Tags: body oil, cock rings, foreplay, handcuffs, Sex Toys, vibrators, whips