In the South Park movie, one of the boys goes on a quest to discover how he is to win over the girl of his dreams. What he finds is an elusive mystery men have been fascinated by, puzzled with, and afraid of in equal measure for the better part of recorded human history.

What the badly drawn boy found in the woods was the clitoris.

Fact: the clitoris is a small bundle of nerves located just above the opening of the vagina. Its size can differ significantly from woman to woman, but rarely exceeds one half an inch in size. Like the penis, it becomes engorged with arousal.

Fact: most women require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.

Fact: the hottest spot on a woman’s body is her brain. If you can rev her engine on a cerebral level, moving on to the next level – conquering the clitoris – will be that much easier. Don’t be afraid of dirty talk. Get a feel for her dirt-meter – make sure you know what words she likes, and what words throw a wet blanket on her party – and then dive on in. Tell her what you’re going to do to her, how crazy you’re going to make her, how crazy she makes you. As long as you’re comfortable and confident, she’ll go along for the ride.

There are a number of methods you can use to stimulate the clitoris, but don’t do too much, too soon. Don’t come at her clit with a blowtorch, a prospector’s pick, and a treasure map. Wade in slowly – start with a gentle touch. Fingers make a great opening move.

Start by stroking one side of her clitoris in slow, gentle movements. Experiment with speed and pressure as you go along. Ask her what she likes and do your best to accommodate. With a little prodding, even the shyest of violets will open up about what makes her feel good. And the more you communicate on a sexual level, the more explosive the sex will be.

Now you’ve mastered what to do with your words, and your fingers – the next step is the really fun part: cunnilingus.

It is important to remember when you’re giving a woman head that you need to do it with gusto. Even if your technique isn’t perfect, if you’re into it, she’ll be into it. Don’t make it seem like a chore, or something you’re getting over with so you can get to the part you really like. Pretend you’re licking an ice cream cone, and her clitoris is the bit that’s melting.

Once you’ve become more comfortable with the clitoris and how she likes it to be treated, you can experiment a little. Many women find egg vibrators or even couples vibrators worn during sex to be an incredible added stimulant – after all, both are paying extra special attention to that magical little bundle of nerves she has, leaving both your hands free to wander elsewhere.

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Tags: clitoral stimulation, clitoris, cunnilingus, egg vibrators, penis, vagina, vibrators